Excuses...excuses

I'm really not trying to avoid blogging. My life has kind of been turned upside down the past few weeks. Things haven't exactly settled down either, so I'm just hanging on by a thread...

Anyway...I bet you didn't think it was possible to gain 15lbs in two weeks, but that is what I've done. 

Current Weight: 310 lbs 

I know it's not healthy, but that is where I'm at, and it's the result of some major emotional eating. 

I thought I had a better understanding of myself and had gained some control over my emotional connection with food, but obviously I was dreaming. I'm not giving up, but I've got to work through this rough spot. 

Shamefully Yours - Fattie

REALIZATION

WOW - I just realized that I lost 17lbs in one month! While it is not my goal to lose that much weight every month I wouldn't complain if I had a few more months like that! It just makes me wonder if I would have lost even more weight had I eaten better...

Week 4: 1.5 down 149.5 to go

Wow - things have been crazy busy. I know it's not the holidays yet, but I feel like I'm already in that holiday rush mode.

Anyway, I did weigh in on Thursday and was down 1.5 pounds to 295lbs...better than I thought considering I didn't eat as well as I should have.

I went to a bridal shower and had too many "oopsies" to count, but let's just say intead of sticking to spinach salad and fruit salad I also had to eat finger sandwiches and chocolates.

Someday I'm going to get this right.

Week 3: 2 lbs down 151 lbs to go

It's weigh-in Thursday, and I was expecting to have gained, because this two week Phase 1 of the South Beach diet is a challenge for me. I must not be eating enough vegetables, because I am still experiencing hunger...or cravings...or whatever it is. Three times I ate things I should not have...and one of those was last night. I was workinng (at night) and hunger and exhaustion took over.

Sometimes I think when my body is really tired it's natural response is to want food in order to give it more energy when it really only needs sleep. So, what did I do...I went to the bloody vending machine. As you all know most vending machines don't stock vegetables, but I could have at least gone for the healthiest snack in there: a granola bar. But NOOOO I had to go for these chocolate, peanut-butter waffer cookie things. I actually felt sick after eating it. BAD choice. Not to mention that I only worked out twice this week.

Unfortuantely, I know my body too well, and I think my next week's weigh-in is going to pay for this past week of stupidity. I'm going to see if I can make-up for it with some longer workouts.

PCOS

I know there are a few people who read my blog (thank you for your support)! I wanted to know if anyone out there has been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)?

I've had PCOS since college (maybe sooner, but that is when it was diagnosed), and I know for a fact that the condition can make it a little harder to lose weight. However, if the weight is lost it can greatly reduce your risk for the side effects of PCOS which are diabetes and heart disease. For those of you who don't know much about PCOS here is a quick definition from the Mayo Clinic:

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a common condition characterized by irregular menstrual periods, excess hair growth and obesity, though it can affect women in a variety of ways.

The exact cause of polycystic ovary syndrome is unknown, but the condition stems from a disruption in the monthly reproductive cycle. The name polycystic ovary syndrome comes from the appearance of the ovaries in some women with the disorder — large and studded with numerous cysts (polycystic).

Polycystic ovary syndrome affects about one in 10 women in the United States and is the leading cause of infertility in women. Early diagnosis and treatment of polycystic ovary syndrome can help reduce the risk of long-term complications, which include diabetes and heart disease.

One thing I have learned from doctors and dieticians alike is that a low glycemic index diet has been found successful in helping PCOS patients lose weight and prevent diabetes. That is another reason why I chose to use the South Beach Diet as my dietary guideline for weighloss.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the glycemic index it is a measure of the effects of carbohydrates on blood glucose levels. Carbohydrates that break down rapidly during digestion releasing glucose rapidly into the bloodstream have a high GI; carbohydrates that break down slowly, releasing glucose gradually into the bloodstream, have a low GI. The South Beach diet seems to promote eating foods that have a low GI, such a vegetables and whole grains. Since many PCOS patients are "pre-diabetic" or insulin resistant a diet that consists of lean proteins and low GI foods are very important not only for weightloss, but also for preventing diabetes.

After having PCOS for almost 10 years I am just starting to get this (duh).

So, I wanted to know if any of you have PCOS:

1)Have you experienced weight-loss struggles?

2)What methods, tools, etc do you find successful in acheiving your weight-loss/health goals?

Week 2: 0 lbs down 153.5 pounds to go

Today is weigh-in day! The scale read: 298.5.

I used to dread getting on the scale, but when I know on most occasions that the numbers will be lower each time I step on the scale then I look forward to it. I was expecting a little gain this time because of my stupid all-day binge on Sunday. But, amazingly my weight has stayed the same, and hopefully only this one time. I hope next Thursday will bring lesser numbers. I suppose that is up to me, isn't it?!

Rules Are Made to Be Broken...or Something Like That

I knew I was going to be eating my words when I made my "rules." I need to make a few adjustments...particularily to #4 & #6.

#4: 10pm bedtime - Well, unfotunately it is necessary for the survival of our family that I work a night job. This means that I usually don't get home until 10pm on most nights. Therefore, I think an 11pm bedtime will be more appropriate. I'm violating that right now as I type this post, but going forward I will make it my goal to be in bed by 11pm.

#6: Food Journal - My food journaling has been beneficial. It makes me conscious of everything that goes into my mouth because I know I have to write it down. However, with a household to run and a night job and a 14 month old and student husband to take care of...something has got to give. I am still going to keep a food journal, but not the elaborate food journal I have going on right now. I am going to just buy a little notebook and write down what I eat...no nutritional info. I think that is what took so much time...trying to figure out all of the calories, fat, carbs, proteins, etc. I've done this in the past, and it takes very little time, yet is very beneficial for me.

Which leads me to my #1 Rule: Eat to Live. I've done well for myself (accept for that oopsie a few days ago) watching what I eat. I've been prompted by a few friends to check out the South Beach Diet. I've never had much interest because I figured it's a fad diet similar to Atkins. However, I finally decided to at least read into it (well, the book that is), and have found that the eating lifestyle of the South Beach Diet is very similar to what I'm trying to do now.

So, my husband and I are on day two of Phase I of the S.B.D. I will say that neither of us are a big fan of this 2 week Phase I, but I like the idea that it is almost "cleansing" and "preparing" the body for a new start. So...onward and upward!

Oopsie

Geesh...it hasn't even been two weeks and here I am posting about my first slip-up. I've already told myself that I'm not going to count it as a failure...I prefer "oopsie." As long as I don't let these "oopsies" become a habit I think I can forgive myself and move on (this is usually where I have thrown my hands in the air and given up).

Our local movie theatre has a deal going where you buy their "special" bucket of popcorn and you can have refills for 50 cents the rest of the year...whenever you want. Several months ago we bought the bucket while going to watch "Hell Boy." So, we were watching a movie at home today and my husband (no use blaming him) I decided to go get a refill for our at-home-movie viewing enjoyment. I thought, "Oh I will just have a few handfulls." And wouldn't you know but that darn popcorn bucket hopped right over into my lap and forced me to consume 3/4 of the popcorn it contained.

Well, not really, but I was shocked to "suddenly" feel the bottom of the popcorn bucket in the midst of our movie. It was almost as if I wasn't conscious that I was totally pigging out (note to self: if you are going to eat and watch a movie make sure to promote portion control by dishing yourself a serving instead of hoarding the food and eating until gone).

It was all downhill...and kind of blurry...from there.

I "grazed" uncontrollably the rest of the day. I ate three cheese sticks, 3 or 4 grahm crackers, several bites of my husband's ramen, 4-5 handfuls of cashews...and finally...to add insult to injury I ended the day with a Big & Tasty meal from McDonalds (0h-the horror). By the time I got to the point of having McDonalds for dinner I found myself thinking, "well the damage is

done I might as well have that cheeseburger and fries I've been craving."

Then came the accountability...to myself and to the people (if there are

any) who read this blog. I thought, I'm not going to just give-up (which is usually followed by a binge and gaining 10 lbs), and I'm not going to start over (Lord knows I've done the "start-over" diet one too many times). I'm going to accept the fact that I screwed up...learn from it...forgive myself and move on.

Whew-that feels so much better than wallowing in it.